Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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