is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
