I can tuck mytits in my pants
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize