Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
