Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
