Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
