she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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