So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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