I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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