no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
