I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
