Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize