Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
