I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
