a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
