Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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