we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
