well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
