I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
