party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
