does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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