Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
