you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
