Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
