break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize