oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
