I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
