My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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