he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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