yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
