I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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