google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
