this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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