It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we made out on top of his cat.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
