I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
