I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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