Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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