the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
