Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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