good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
