doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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