You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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