Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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