There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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