@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
