I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
