so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
