Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
