3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
