1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
