hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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