I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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