Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize