Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
