How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
