Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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