Your mouth is God's brothel.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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