he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we're so committed to being not committed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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