I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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