didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
