Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
